8 Christian Tips For Dealing With Difficult People

As  Christians we should try to get along with the people around us. That does not mean we have to always agree with them, but we also should not intentionally look for opportunities to anger and upset people. Romans 12:18 tells us, “If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men.” This verse does not say it will always be possible, but we should try.

Here are 8 tips for dealing with difficult people for Christians.

Speak With Respect

Disagreements and misunderstandings will happen in life, but this is not an excuse to disrespect others. The Bible tells us that we should speak to others with love, even if we have to deal strongly with them. Love and respect should be our guide. Our speech should be kind but firm when necessary.

Ephesians 4:15 “But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:”

Proverbs 15:1 “A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.”

Colossians 4:6 “ Let your speech be always with grace, seasoned with salt, that ye may know how ye ought to answer every man.”

Christian Ways To Deal With Difficult People
Maybe the best way to sum this all up is to deal with people in love. Love the unsaved in such a way that they will want to know more about your God.
Follow The Pattern in Matthew 18

There is a distinct pattern given in Matthew 18 for dealing with a problem. I believe this is primarily talking about dealing with problems among believers, but it can be applied in many situations. First you go privately to the one with whom the problem is. Secondly, you take a couple of people with you so that you can establish the facts and that it is no longer a “he said, she said” argument. Finally, if you cannot resolve the issue then bring it to the attention of the authorities. Again, these verses are talking about the authority of the church, but it could also be applied to your office situation.

Matthew 18:15-17 “Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone: if he shall hear thee, thou hast gained thy brother. But if he will not hear thee, then take with thee one or two more, that in the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established. And if he shall neglect to hear them, tell it unto the church: but if he neglect to hear the church, let him be unto thee as an heathen man and a publican.”

Along the lines of this, remember that there is safety in a multitude of counselors. Find people to talk with about the problem. These should be trusted people and not the church gossip. When talking to others about the problem, they may point out to you your own faults in the conflict. Check out Proverbs 11:14; 24:6.

Sometimes You Need To Walk Away

Sometimes it is better to walk away from an argument than to continue to dwell on it. This is not liberty to walk away from everything. There are things worth fighting for. But then there are things that just aren’t worth your time and allowing them to spoil your own relationship with the Lord.

You have to allow the Lord to give you direction on how to deal with different problems. After David was anointed king, but before he took the throne, he had to deal with Saul. God had already rejected Saul from being king over Israel. David realized that was a fight between Saul and God.

David allowed God to fight on his behalf. This is the same man who years before stood up for God and fought on behalf of God when facing Goliath. David had wisdom on knowing when it was time to fight and when it was time to walk away and allow God to handle the problem.

1 Samuel 24:10 “Behold, this day thine eyes have seen how that the Lord had delivered thee to day into mine hand in the cave: and some bade me kill thee: but mine eye spared thee; and I said, I will not put forth mine hand against my lord; for he is the Lord’s anointed.”